How to Word Your Wedding Invitations: a Guide to Getting It Right

Figuring out what to actually write on your wedding invitations can feel surprisingly tricky. You know the basics, your names, the date, the venue, but when you sit down and try to put it into words, you might find yourself staring at a blank page wondering whether it should say "request the pleasure of your company" or just "come celebrate with us."

The good news? There really are no rules. Or rather, there are old-fashioned rules that you are absolutely welcome to follow if they feel right, and equally welcome to throw out of the window if they don't. Weddings are not one-size-fits-all, and your invitation wording shouldn't be either.

I help couples with this all the time, and I've put together this guide to walk you through each part of your invitation, step by step. By the end, you should have a much clearer picture of what you'd like yours to say.

The hosting line

This is usually the very first line of text on your invitation, and it sets the tone for everything that follows. Traditionally, whoever is hosting (and paying for) the wedding is named here. So in the most traditional format, you might see something like:

Mr and Mrs John Smith request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter...

But let's be honest... that doesn't reflect how most modern weddings work. These days, couples often pay for the wedding themselves, or there are multiple family members contributing. Here are a few ways to handle it:

"Together with their families" is a lovely option if there are multiple contributors chipping in. It acknowledges everyone without getting into the specifics, and it keeps things simple.

If you're paying for everything yourselves, not celebrating with family, or simply prefer a less formal feel, you can skip the hosting line entirely. Jump straight to your names and the inviting line. Another really nice alternative is "With great joy". It's warm and celebratory without attributing the hosting to anyone in particular.

And of course, if your parents are hosting and you'd like to honour that in a traditional way, that works beautifully too. If you'd like examples of wording with different combinations of family members, just get in touch and I'll be happy to help.

Your names

This one seems obvious, but there are a few things worth thinking about. Do you want to use your full names, or just your first names? Full names give a more formal feel, while first names keep things relaxed and personal.

Put them in whatever order you feel like. I don't believe there should be rules on this, whatever you feel flows best is the right answer.

One small thing to consider: if you're including a monogram somewhere in your stationery design, have a think about how your initials will look together and whether there's a better order to avoid certain combinations. (I'll save you the examples, but you can probably imagine a few that might raise a smile for the wrong reasons...)

The inviting line

This is the part that actually does the inviting, the line that tells your guests they're welcome to come and celebrate with you. There are loads of different ways to phrase this, and the right one depends entirely on the vibe you're going for.

For something more formal, you might go with:

• request the honour of your presence at the celebration of their union
• request the pleasure of your company at their wedding
• cordially invite you to attend the ceremony and celebration of their marriage

For something more relaxed:

• invite you to join them on their wedding day
• happily invite you to celebrate their wedding
• would love for you to join them as they exchange their vows and begin their new life together
• warmly invite you to be a part of their wedding day
• invite you to share and celebrate their wedding day
• invite you to witness their love and celebrate their marriage

This list is by no means exhaustive. You can absolutely get creative with your wording- whatever makes you most comfortable is the best way to go.

My one tip? Once you've decided on a tone, formal or informal, try to keep it consistent across all of the items in your invitation suite. If your invitation is very traditional but your details card is chatty and casual, it can feel a little disjointed.

The date and time

Include the day of the week alongside the date. This is especially important if you're having a weekday wedding, it will immediately make it clear to your guests that they may need to book time off work, without you having to spell it out.

I personally like to format the time in words (two o'clock in the afternoon, half past one) rather than numbers, as it gives a softer, more elegant feel. But if you prefer numbers, that's absolutely fine too- just let me know!

One thing I'd suggest: note the ceremony start time rather than an arrival time. If you're worried about late arrivals, you could add a line underneath along the lines of "please be seated by..." and set that 15 to 30 minutes earlier. That way, guests who would normally arrive early anyway aren't left twiddling their thumbs for too long, and the ones who tend to cut it fine have a gentle nudge to get there on time.

The venue

If you're having your ceremony and reception at the same venue, this is nice and straightforward- just the venue name, address, and postcode. In the age of Google Maps and satnavs, your guests should be able to find their way from there.

If your reception is at a different location, you'll want to include that address too. This can go on the invitation itself if there's room, or on a details card to keep things uncluttered.

What comes next

This is the bit that lets your guests know it's a full day event and gives them a sense of what to expect. Something like "followed by drinks, dinner, and dancing" or "followed by a reception and evening celebration" works nicely.

You'll also want to adapt this for evening guests if you're sending separate evening invitations. Something along the lines of "please join us for an evening of drinks and dancing" keeps it clear without making anyone feel like a second-tier guest.

A few other things you might want to include

Depending on your wedding and your crowd, there are a handful of extras worth considering:

Dress code- if you have one, this is the place to mention it. Whether it's black tie, smart casual, or "wear whatever makes you feel fabulous," a quick note saves your guests a lot of overthinking.

Adults only- if you're having a child-free celebration, it's best to be upfront about it. A gentle line on the invitation (or the details card) lets guests know they'll need to arrange childcare, and avoids any awkward conversations later.

Carriages at...- if you'd like to note what time the evening will wrap up, the traditional phrasing is "Carriages at midnight" (or whatever time you choose). It's a lovely old-fashioned touch.

RSVP- if space allows, you might be able to squeeze in a line asking guests to respond by a certain date, whether that's by returning an RSVP card, emailing you, or replying via your wedding website. That said, this works even better as a separate RSVP card in your invitation suite.

How to address your envelopes

This is another area where you can be as formal or as relaxed as you like. Handwriting adds a personal touch, but printed addresses save time and eliminate the risk of smudges and spelling mistakes.

For a formal approach, include each guest's name and title: Mr and Mrs Smith, Dr Harper and Mx Jones, The Paulson Family. For families with children, you can either list them each specifically or note the family as a group.

For a more informal approach, first names (or even nicknames!) keep things warm and friendly: Sam and Riley, 78 Town Road...

You can mix and match too when it comes to the addresses. Your aunt and uncle might get the formal treatment, while your bestie gets their nickname. As long as the addresses themselves are correct, there's really no right or wrong way.

And one important reminder: it's one invitation per household, not one per guest!

Don't forget the details card

The invitation itself is really about the essentials- who, when, where, and what. For everything else, a details card is your best friend. Accommodation, transport, gift lists, dietary requirements, parking, dress codes... anything that helps your guests join you on the day and have a brilliant time.

Putting it all together

If you've made it this far, you should have a pretty good idea of the building blocks that make up your invitation wording. The beauty of it is that there's no single template you have to follow. Some couples want every line to feel traditional and elegant. Others want it to sound like them- chatty, fun, and full of personality. Both are perfect.

If you're still feeling stuck, that's completely normal. Wording is one of the things my couples ask about most, and it's something I'm always happy to help with. When you work with me, we'll go through your wording together and make sure it sounds exactly right- whether that's polished and formal or warm and relaxed.

If you're curious about what a full invitation suite looks like and what it includes, have a browse through my wedding invitation collections. You might also find my guides on how much wedding invitations cost, your stationery timeline, and whether to send save the dates helpful too. If you'd like to get an idea of pricing, my quote builder gives you an instant, personalised estimate based on your guest list and chosen items.

And if you'd like to chat about your own stationery, I'd love to hear from you- just get in touch and we can start bringing your wedding paper dreams to life.