Wedding Invitation Wording
(without the heteronormative rulebook)
A modern, inclusive guide to writing every line of your wedding invitations- from the hosting line to "carriages at midnight"- with real examples for couples whose lives don't fit the 1950s template.
Quick answer
A wedding invitation needs to cover who's hosting (or you can skip that bit), your names, an inviting line (the bit that actually invites people), the date and time, the venue, and what happens after (dinner, dancing, the lot). Beyond those bones, there genuinely are no rules. The wording should sound like you- whatever that means for the two of you.
Hello! If you've landed here, you're probably staring at a blank page wondering whether your invitation is supposed to say "request the honour of your presence at the celebration of their union" or just "come and watch us get hitched."
Both are fine. Honestly. There really are no rules- or rather, there are some old-fashioned rules that you're absolutely welcome to follow if they feel right, and equally welcome to lob out the window if they don't. Most of the so-called etiquette comes from a time when weddings looked very different from how they do today, and it doesn't always translate to modern couples. Especially not all couples.
So this is the version I wish more couples had to hand: every part of your wording, with examples, alternatives, and zero assumptions about who you are, who's paying for what, or whose parents are listed first. Take what's useful, ignore the rest, and at any point drop me a line if you'd like a hand wording yours.
The anatomy of a wedding invitation
Most invitations have six (give or take) elements:
- 01
The hosting line- who's inviting people. Optional.
- 02
Your names- the main event.
- 03
The inviting line- the actual come to our wedding part.
- 04
The date and time- please don't get this bit wrong.
- 05
The venue(s)- where the magic happens.
- 06
What comes next- dinner, drinks, dancing, dress code, end time.
You don't need every single one, and you can play with the order. Below, I'll walk you through each in turn.
Part one
The hosting line
The hosting line traditionally goes first, and traditionally names whoever is hosting (and historically, paying for) the wedding. The classic version reads something like:
Mr and Mrs John Smith request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter…
Beautiful, but… let's be honest. That phrasing assumes the bride's father is paying, that everyone uses Mr/Mrs honorifics, that marriage is between a man and a woman, and that the couple's identities are subordinate to their parents'. None of which has to be true.
So here are some alternatives, depending on your situation:
If you're hosting yourselves
You can skip the hosting line entirely- jump straight to your names. Or use a soft, warm opener like:
- With great joy,
- Together with full hearts,
- With love and excitement,
- Please join us as
If both families are contributing
Together with their families…
This is the easiest, kindest catch-all. It acknowledges everyone without naming names or assigning credit, which is especially helpful if contributions vary or family politics are… complicated.
If one set of parents is hosting
Aiyana and Theo Hassan request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their child Priya to Sam…
Note "their child" rather than "their daughter" or "their son"- a nice neutral option, and a genuinely lovely one if Priya is non-binary, gender-fluid, or simply doesn't want to be defined that way on her own invitation.
If both sets of parents are hosting
Aiyana and Theo Hassan, together with Marcus and David Okafor, request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children Priya and Kai…
Or, more relaxed:
Priya and Kai's parents would love you to join them as…
If your parents are divorced
You can list them on separate lines if both are involved:
Aiyana Hassan
and Theo Hassan
request the pleasure of your company…
If a parent has remarried and you'd like their partner included:
Aiyana and James Hassan
together with Theo Hassan and Marcus Lee
request the pleasure…
This is a section that can get genuinely tricky depending on your specific family setup. If you'd like a hand wording yours, send me a message- I've helped couples through every variation you can imagine and a few you probably can't.
If a parent has passed away
There are some lovely ways to honour a parent who can't be there. You can name them as if they were hosting, with phrasing like:
Aiyana Hassan and the late Theo Hassan
request the pleasure of your company…
Or you can keep the hosting line simple and add a separate line elsewhere on the invitation, the order of service, or the details card- something like In loving memory of Theo Hassan, who is with us in spirit.
If you have two mums, two dads, or any other family shape
The wording works exactly the same way- just list the parents who are hosting:
Aiyana and Cara Hassan request the pleasure of your company…
David and Marcus Okafor invite you to join them as their son Kai…
There is, genuinely, nothing more to say about this. Your family is your family, and your invitation should look like that.
If your family isn't blood
Chosen family is family. If the people raising the toast are your aunt, your godparents, your best friend's mum, the wording works the same way- name them.
Sarah and Jess Watson, together with Marcus Okafor, joyfully invite you to celebrate as Kai and Riley…
Part two
Your names
Two main decisions to make here.
First names or full names? Full names feel more formal and traditional. First names feel warmer and more relaxed. There's no right answer- pick whichever matches the vibe of your day.
Whose name comes first? I genuinely don't think there should be rules on this. Pick whichever order sounds best read aloud, looks better in your design, or matters most to you personally. (Some couples like the calligraphic look of one combination over another. Some go alphabetical. Some just go with whoever's the louder one. All valid.)
Two small things worth considering:
- If you're including a monogram in your design, have a quick look at how your initials sit together- some letter combinations are more flattering than others. (I'll spare you the specifics, but you can probably picture a few that might raise an eyebrow at the wrong moment.)
- If one, or both, of you are changing your name post-wedding, it's the pre-wedding name that goes on the invitation. The first time your guests will see your new surname is on the thank you cards.
Part three
The inviting line
This is the bit that actually does the inviting. It's a single line, and it sets the tone for the entire invitation. Pick something formal or relaxed depending on the wedding you're planning.
More formal
- request the honour of your presence at the celebration of their marriage
- request the pleasure of your company at their wedding
- cordially invite you to attend the ceremony and celebration of their marriage
- request the honour of your presence as they exchange vows
More relaxed
- invite you to join them on their wedding day
- happily invite you to celebrate their wedding
- would love for you to join them as they exchange their vows and begin their next chapter together
- would be delighted by your presence on their wedding day
- warmly invite you to be a part of their wedding day
- invite you to share in and celebrate their marriage
- invite you to witness their love and celebrate their marriage
This list is by no means exhaustive- you can absolutely get creative. Whatever feels most like the two of you is the best way to go. My one tip: once you've chosen a tone, try to keep it consistent across your whole invitation suite. A formal main invitation paired with a chatty, casual details card can feel a little disjointed.
A note on language
If you'd rather not use the word marriage, that's completely fine. Some couples prefer wedding, celebration, commitment, or the day they say I do. If you're celebrating a civil partnership, vow renewal, or post-elopement party, the wording flexes:
- invite you to celebrate their civil partnership
- invite you to celebrate ten wonderful years together
- invite you to a party celebrating their elopement
Part four
The date and time
Always include the day of the week alongside the date. This matters more than people realise, especially if you're having a weekday wedding- it makes it instantly clear that guests may need to book time off.
Saturday, the eighth of August, two thousand and twenty-six
or
Saturday 8th August 2026
Both are correct- it's a vibe choice. Words feel softer and more elegant; numbers feel cleaner and more modern.
For the time, the same applies:
Two o'clock in the afternoon
or
2:00pm
A small tip: list the ceremony start time, not an arrival time. If you're worried about late arrivals, add a separate line underneath:
Please be seated by 1:45pm
That way, guests who tend to arrive early aren't stuck waiting around, and those who cut it fine get a gentle nudge.
Part five
The venue
If your ceremony and reception are at the same venue, just list it once:
Liverpool Town Hall
High Street, Liverpool, L2 3SW
If they're at different venues, include both:
Ceremony at Liverpool Town Hall, High Street, Liverpool, L2 3SW
Reception at Oh Me Oh My, Water Street, Liverpool, L2 8TD
If space is tight on the main invitation, the reception address can move to a separate details card- which is also a sensible place to put parking info, accessibility notes, or transport links.
Part six
What comes next
Let your guests know what to expect after the ceremony. This is usually a short line at the bottom:
- Followed by drinks, dinner and plenty of dancing
- Reception to follow
- Carriages at midnight
- We'd love you to stay for food, drinks and dancing into the evening
If you've ordered separate evening invitations for guests joining later, this line gets adapted so it's clear what they're being invited to. (Something like Please join us from 7pm for an evening of food, drinks and dancing.)
Part seven
A little bit of small print
There won't be a huge amount of space left on the invitation for more details, and that's where a details card comes in.
Some couples like to add a quick line about dress code at the bottom of the invitation, something like:
- Black tie
- Dress to impress
- Garden party attire
- Festival vibes- we'll be on grass
- Wear what makes you feel wonderful
If there's anything else guests really need to know upfront- adults only, unplugged ceremony, please no photos until after the recessional- the invitation isn't usually the place. Pop those on a details card so the main invitation stays clean and elegant.
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Build Your QuoteA few special situations
LGBTQ+ weddings
The wording in this guide already works for LGBTQ+ couples- there's no separate vocabulary. Spouse, partner, the couple, and each other are all gender-neutral and work great.
If you'd like a more celebratory nod to the legal history (especially in the UK, where equal marriage only became law in 2014, somewhat equal…), some couples include lines like finally, legally, joyfully or exactly as we always should have been able to. It's not required- just an option if it feels right.
Vow renewals and commitment ceremonies
The structure is identical, just with adjusted wording:
Aiyana and Theo invite you to celebrate ten years of marriage as they renew their vows…
Kai and Riley invite you to witness their commitment to one another…
Second (or third, or fourth) marriages
Worth absolutely zero awkwardness. The wording is the same as for any wedding. If children from a previous relationship are involved and you'd like to acknowledge that, options like:
Together with their children Sam, Riley and Pip, Aiyana and Marcus invite you to join them as they marry…
…are a really heartwarming way to mark the joining of the family rather than just the couple.
Elopement receptions
If you've already had a tiny ceremony elsewhere and you're hosting a celebration afterwards, your wording flexes accordingly:
We did the bit with the rings already. Now please come and dance.
Aiyana and Theo eloped in March. Now they'd like to throw a party.
We're married! Please join us to celebrate, eat and dance the night away.
Wording for evening-only guests
Evening invitations should be clearly different from your day invitations to avoid any confusion. The main change is the inviting line:
Aiyana and Theo invite you to join them for an evening of food, drinks and dancing
Saturday 8th August 2026, from 7pm
Liverpool Town Hall, High Street, Liverpool, L2 3SW
Avoid the word celebrate their marriage if your evening guests aren't witnessing the ceremony- it can read as if they're being invited to the whole day, which leads to awkward arrival mixups. Join us for the evening reception, celebrate with us in the evening, or be part of our evening celebration all work nicely.
I also like "please bring your dancing shoes" to replace the typical "followed by drinks, dinner, and dancing" line.
Address etiquette
How you address your envelopes sets a tone before the invitation has even been opened. There's no single right way- a polished formal approach, a warm informal approach, or a mix-and-match (formal for older relatives, first-name for friends) all work.
Formal approach
- Mr and Mrs Smith
- Dr Harper and Mx Jones
- Captain Patel and Reverend Watson
- The Hassan-Okafor Family
Informal approach
- Sam and Riley Watson
- Aiyana, Theo and family
- Priya, Kai and the kids
A note on inclusive honorifics
Some non-binary people use Mx (pronounced "mix"), which is the standard gender-neutral honorific, but that doesn't necessarily suit everyone. If you're not sure, and for whatever reason can't ask, just use the guest's name without an honorific- Sam Patel is perfectly polite and sidesteps the question entirely.
If a guest is recently divorced, widowed, or going through a name change, ask them how they'd like to be addressed rather than guessing. Same for guests who've transitioned- the safest, kindest move is to use the name they currently use, even if your "address book" still has an older version. A quick text saves a lot of awkwardness.
Being clear about who's invited
One of the simplest ways to avoid the "oh, are the kids invited?" phone call is to be specific on the envelope:
- For a whole household — The Hassan-Okafor Family or Aiyana, Theo and Family
- For named guests only — list each person by name. (This is especially important if you're not inviting children or plus-ones.)
- For a plus-one — Aiyana Hassan and Guest
If someone's plus-one is a known partner, name them rather than writing "and guest"- it's a kinder, more personal touch.
We can also include this directly on the invitation itself if you want to go belt and braces.
A final note
Your wedding invitation is the very first thing your guests will hold in their hands- a tangible, real-world hint of the day to come. It's worth spending a little time getting the wording right.
But "right" doesn't mean correct- it means yours. There's no etiquette test waiting at the end of this. There's just you, your wedding, and the words that feel like you on a card that lands on someone's doormat.
If you'd like a hand wording yours, drop me a line and I'll happily help you talk it through. I've helped couples word invitations for every family shape, every faith tradition, every ceremony type, and every level of formal- there's almost no situation I haven't seen, and there's never a wrong question to ask.
Keep reading
For more on what to include alongside your invitation and how to make sure your guests actually reply on time:
Wording FAQs
Do my parents have to be named on my wedding invitation?
Not at all. Naming hosts is a tradition, not a rule. If you're paying for the wedding yourselves, if your relationship with your parents is complicated, or if you simply prefer the invitation to be about the two of you, you can skip the hosting line entirely and start with your names. With great joy or Together with full hearts are lovely soft openers if you'd like one.
How do you word a wedding invitation when your parents are divorced?
List each parent on a separate line, in whichever order works for your family. If a parent has remarried and you'd like their partner included, name them too — for example, Aiyana and James Hassan, together with Theo Hassan and Marcus Lee, request the pleasure of your company… You don't need to follow any specific order- this is your wedding, and your relationships.
How do you word a wedding invitation for an LGBTQ+ wedding?
Exactly the same as for any wedding. List the names of the people getting married, choose your inviting line, and skip any gendered terms (bride/groom) if they don't apply. Phrases like the couple, each other, their marriage and spouse-to-be are all gender-neutral and work great.
What honorific should I use for a non-binary guest?
Some non-binary people use Mx (pronounced "mix"), the standard gender-neutral honorific, but it doesn't necessarily suit everyone. If you're not sure, and for whatever reason can't ask, just use the guest's name without an honorific- Sam Patel is perfectly polite and sidesteps the question entirely.
Can you skip the hosting line on a wedding invitation?
Yes, completely. The hosting line is a traditional feature, not a required one. Many modern couples start straight with their names and the inviting line, or use a warm opener like With great joy or Please join us as.
How do you word a wedding invitation when a parent has passed away?
A few lovely options. You can name the parent as if they were still hosting (Aiyana Hassan and the late Theo Hassan request the pleasure of your company…), or keep the hosting line simple and add a small dedication elsewhere on the invitation, the order of service, or the details card- something like In loving memory of Theo Hassan, who is with us in spirit.
Do you need to send separate evening invitations to evening-only guests?
Yes- evening invitations should look clearly different from your daytime ones to avoid mixups. The main change is the inviting line: instead of celebrate their marriage, use join them for an evening of food, drinks and dancing, and include the evening start time rather than the ceremony time.
Should I include the dress code on my wedding invitation?
It's not required, but it's a kindness. A short line like Black tie, Dress to impress, or Garden party attire gives guests confidence about what to wear. If you have a more specific or unusual dress code, the details card is a good place to expand.
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